12 Years Sober: What They Don’t Tell You About Recovery

— Twelve years ago, at age 50, I walked into Sulzbacher Center with a failing hip and a failing life. Today, I haven’t had a drink since that day. Not one. People hear “12 years sober” and they think the hard part is over. They think I’ve got it all figured out. They’re wrong. Sobriety isn’t a destination. It’s a daily choice. And there are things about recovery that nobody tells you when you’re starting out.

**The First Truth: Sobriety Doesn’t Fix Everything**

When I got sober, I thought all my problems would disappear. They didn’t. I still had to deal with the hip that needed replacing. I still had cancer to face—twice. I still had scars, regrets, and broken relationships that sobriety alone couldn’t heal. Getting sober doesn’t erase the past. It just gives you the clarity to deal with it. The good news? Once you’re clear-headed, you can actually start fixing what’s broken. But it takes work. Hard work. The kind that makes you want to quit some days.

**The Second Truth: You Lose People**

Not everyone will celebrate your sobriety. Some people will disappear from your life because you’re not the person they want you to be anymore. The drinking buddies vanish. Some family members stay distant. People who liked the old broken you better than the new sober you. It hurts. But here’s what I learned: the people who leave were never really with you anyway. They were with the addiction, not the person. The ones who stay? Those are your people. Hold onto them.

**The Third Truth: You Have to Rebuild Everything**

At 50, I had nothing. No home. No job. Little education. No credibility. Just a decision to stop drinking and a prayer that God would help me figure out the rest. I had to start from zero. I earned my Bachelor of Ministry while recovering from hip surgery. I learned to live in my own place after years of shelters. I figured out how to be responsible when I’d spent decades being anything but. Recovery means rebuilding your entire life, one day at a time. There are no shortcuts.

**The Fourth Truth: Some Days Still Suck**

I’m 12 years in, and there are still days when life is hard. Days when my body hurts. Days when the prosthetic voice feels like a cruel reminder of everything cancer took. Days when I’m tired of being the guy who’s always fighting something. Sobriety doesn’t make you immune to hard days. It just means you face them without the bottle. And honestly? That’s harder sometimes. But every single hard day I face sober is better than the best day I had drunk. Because at least now I’m present. At least now I remember. At least now I’m building something instead of destroying it.

**The Fifth Truth: You Discover Who You Really Are**

For most of my life, I was running. Running from pain. Running from responsibility. Running from God. Running from myself. When you get sober, you stop running. And for the first time, you have to look at yourself clearly. It’s terrifying. But it’s also the most honest thing you’ll ever do. I discovered I’m not who I thought I was. I’m not the sum of my worst mistakes. I’m not defined by my addictions or my time in prison or the years I wasted. I’m a man who survived. Who changed. Who has something to offer. Sobriety gave me back myself.

**What I Wish Someone Had Told Me**

If you’re thinking about getting sober, or if you’re early in recovery, here’s what I wish someone had told me:

**It’s going to be harder than you think.** But it’s worth it.

**You’re going to fail at things.**

That doesn’t mean you failed at sobriety.

**People will let you down.**

Stay sober anyway.

**You’ll want to quit.**

Don’t.

**Some days you’ll wonder if it’s worth it.**

It is.

**You won’t recognize yourself in five years.**

That’s a good thing.

**The Message Nobody Wants to Hear**

There’s no magic formula. No secret trick. No easy path. You have to want it more than you want the drink. You have to want it more than you want comfort. You have to want it more than you want to run. And you have to want it every single day. Some days, that wanting comes easy. Other days, it’s the hardest thing you’ll do.

But here’s the truth they don’t tell you in meetings:

**Every day you stay sober, you’re winning.**

Even the hard days. Even the days when you barely make it. Even the days when sobriety feels like the heaviest burden you’ve ever carried. You’re winning.

**Twelve Years Later**

I’m 62 now. I speak through a prosthesis. I walk on replaced hips. I wear hearing aids and glasses. But I’m sober. And that sobriety is the foundation everything else is built on. Without it, I wouldn’t have earned my degree. I wouldn’t have written my books. I wouldn’t have a purpose or a message or this blog. I wouldn’t be here. Sobriety gave me my life back. Not the old life—that one’s gone. A new one. A better one. One where I’m actually present for the living of it.

**If You’re Struggling**

If you’re reading this and you’re struggling with addiction, I want you to know something: You can do this. Not because it’s easy. Not because you’re strong. Not because you have it all figured out. You can do this because thousands of broken people before you have done it. Because recovery is possible. Because every day sober is a victory, even when it doesn’t feel like one. I did it at 50. After decades of addiction. After homelessness. After prison. If I can do it, so can you.

**One day at a time. That’s all it takes.** — Calvin Dodson

12 Years Sober & Still Going — *If you need someone to listen, reach out. the66voice@gmail.com